Umm I'm too high to move.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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