Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
