please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
