just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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