apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
