I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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