ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
