I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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