Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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