i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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