Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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