i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
