i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
