Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
