So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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