Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
