I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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