Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
