mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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