i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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