porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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