You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
