I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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