I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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