We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she told me i tasted like america
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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