grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
