You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
