woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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