that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
