oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize