I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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