party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
