But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
