It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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