I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
