did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
