She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
