does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we should paint friendship bongs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
