no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
