I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
