i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
