Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
