There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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