i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
