Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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