thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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