I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
one might say we're banned from that church
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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