Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
