Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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