my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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