Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
