sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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