We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
