You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize